Noodling Around
I’ve been trying to remind myself to relax lately. I’ve been working a lot, and trying to get back in the swing of my habits in the midst of the busy holiday season. In my journal, I’ve noticed I’ve started to slip a bit (by my own standards). No surprise; I’ve kept this up for almost a full year—I think a break is about in order.
After a childhood spent procrastinating as much as possible, I’ve somehow flipped the switch the other way. I’m much more liable to keep pushing myself to do just one more todo, finish organizing or sorting, spend another 20 minutes to complete what I’m working on rather than put it aside for the next day. I’m not saying I don’t relax at all; I still find time to keep up with some anime, play some video games, read a book here and there—just that it can be hard for me to go sit on the couch when I know there’s work to be done.
I’ve been trying to get back into guitar playing. I hit another wall in practice a few months ago, feeling like I needed to finish memorizing the fretboard and learn a few more songs before I could really continue progressing. As such, my practice stalled. Rather than simply pick up the guitar and noodle around, I’d pick something else, or skip relaxing altogether.
I’m spending less time in structured practice, and more time just having fun
Now that I’ve started to find a bit of a rhythm again, or at least gained a better awareness of the gap between where I am and where I want to be, I’ve started to pick up the guitar again. I believe strongly in trying to minimize the barriers to entry on things you want to do, so I’ve always left it out on a stand, my amp plugged in, both beautiful items that draw me to pick them up and strum a few lines.
I’m also giving myself more permission to noodle around. Especially as I work to get back in sync, remember what it feels like to hit chords, pluck notes, I’m spending less time in structured practice, and more time just having fun. I’d made it seem like a chore, with these clear goals like walls in front of me, but I’d forgotten how fun it could be, just playing chords in sequence, slipping into a loop, messing with pedals.
I was feeling anxious recently, for a late work call, but spun around in my chair and picked up my guitar for just 20 minutes or so before it started. Normally, I wouldn’t have bothered; that’s not a long enough time to get into deep focus, so I’d skip it. But it ended up being exactly what I needed. I could feel myself relaxing as I played around, even though what I was producing was nothing special. I’d forgotten the joy of taking my guitar to the couch, and plucking out a line again and again. I’d lost the sense of satisfaction I got from being able to hit a lick I’d struggled with previously, the pleasure in seeing how certain sounds overlap and integrate.
None of my hobbies are ever truly lost, they just come and go with the seasons. Guitar had been in a low tide, but I’m hoping to be a bit more consistent going forward. I’m not aiming for anything more than to be a bedroom guitarist, doing it for my own pleasure. So why not put fun at the forefront?
